Friendship is one of the biggest gifts for you and if you have good friends then it means you are one of the luckiest persons in the world. Keeping that in mind, you can now find plenty of funny jokes for friends here.
Not only the jokes for friends but also friendship day jokes are there for you to keep your emotions high. So just hover down and get the best friend jokes, relationship jokes, jokes for best friends and many more.
Best Jokes For Friends
Here are some of the best jokes for friends.
1- ” If you had friends like mine, you’d be the luckiest guy in the world!”
2- “What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?
A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed.
A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.”
3- “Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asked an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see”, answered an engineer.
They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but the three engineers all crammed into a restroom and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, “Ticket, please”. The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea.
So, after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers didn’t buy a ticket at all. “How are you going to ride without a ticket”? Said one perplexed accountant.”Watch and you’ll see”, answered an engineer. When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding.
He knocked on the door and said, “Ticket, please”. “
4- “Don’t tell a lot about yourself, behind your back will tell more interestingly about you.”
5- “A friend is like a book: you don’t need to read all of them, just pick the best ones.”
6– “My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9.
Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don’t want to go.”
Valentine Day Jokes For Friends
This is one of the best Valentine day jokes for friends.
6- Peter: “Hi John, what are you doing?”
Mike: “Not much, writing Valentine’s Day greeting card.”
Peter:”Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?”
Mike: “No, I just can’t let my right hand see it. It’s a surprise for it.” “
7- “I’m changing my name to ‘Benefits’ on Facebook. Next time someone adds me, It will say you are now friends with Benefits.”
8- “I’ve never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.”
9- “He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out.
I hate having visitors.”
10- “Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant.
“What shall we play today?” said James to her best friend Jenny.
“Let’s play schools,” said Jenny.
“OK!” said James. “But I’m going to be absent.” “
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11- “Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes.
The second man said ‘You don’t have time to change shoes. You can’t outrun that bear!’
The first man said, ‘I know I can’t outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you!”
12- “A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”
“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.
“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost.”
The man below says “You must be a manager.”
“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.” “
14- “You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.”
15-” Put some ash or soot on your fingertip. Casually mention to a friend that he has a spot of dirt on his face as you reach up to remove it. Leave your mark!”
16- “What did one boob say to the other boob? You are my breast friend!
The wife of my friend is not a woman to me. But if she’s pretty he’s not my friend.”
17- “Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. “Let’s play schools”.
“OK!” said Jinny. But I’m going to be absent.”
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18- “Tom and Timothy were in the same regiment in the army. They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. After retirement, they went to different states and settled. However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails.”
19- “To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately!”
20- “When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: ‘This glass is Timothy’s; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each – one on behalf of Timothy, the other for myself.”
21- “Suddenly one evening Tom was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what had happened. He replied, ‘You see, I have given up drinking but Timothy has written that he has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend.”
22- “A beautiful girl looks good in the background of her smart friend.”
23- “If you got tired of living, don’t share your thoughts with all your friends – they might not give you a chance to change your mind…”
24- “Be it any situation but your friends are gonna be there with you probably asking for a treat!”
25- “Money, money, money
It can buy a House
But not a Home
It can buy a Bed
But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock
But not Time
It can buy you a Book
But not Knowledge
It can buy you a Position
But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine
But not Health
It can buy you Blood
But not Life
So you see, Money isn’t everything. And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend, I want to take away your pain and suffering…
So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.
A more true Friend you will never find.”
Best Knock Knock Jokes For You
26-“A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.”
27- “The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.” ”
Well, these are the best jokes for friends. From Jokes Company, you can also get plenty of jokes on friendship day as well.