Sometimes Poop Jokes are the best thing that describes your feelings and situation. Not only that but also these funny Poop Jokes can play a great role in refreshing your mood.
Keeping that in mind, we have compiled a bunch of poop jokes, puns, and riddles for you.
In addition to that, you also have the luxury to pick the funniest poop memes, dog poop jokes, poop one-liners and funny poop sayings from this page.
So, without wasting a single moment, let’s get started.
Best Poop Jokes
Indeed, these are the best poop jokes for you.
“A while ago a new supermarket opened.
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and
the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is
the scent of freshly mowed hay.
In the meat department, there is the aroma of charcoal grilled
steaks with onions…
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens clucking and
cackling, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon
and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked
bread and cookies.
I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore..”
“Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?”
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“When your pumping iron at the gym and something slips past the rim.”
“When you try to pop a zit, but you pop out a sh*t”
“When your harvesting your crop, and you start to feel a plop”
“When your at an interview, and you let go of a poo”
“Laughter is the best medicine.
Unless you have diarrhea…”
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“I went into a public toilet for a poop the other day. I’d just sat down when I heard a voice from the next cubicle say, “Hi, how are you?”
I was a little embarrassed but I replied, “I’m fine thanks.”
Then the voice asked, “So what are you up to?”
I replied, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here.”
Then the voice asked, “Can I come over?”
Annoyed, I said, “Actually, I’m a little busy right now.”
The voice then said, “Listen, I’ll have to call you back, there’s an idiot next door who keeps answering all my questions.”
“When your tying ur shoe and ur bum is full of poo“
When your going for a jog and out pops a log”
“A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub…She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard
“Are you the manager?” she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, no,” he replied. “Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,” she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
“I’m afraid I can’t,” breathed the bartender. “Is there anything I can do?” “Yes. I need for you to give him a message,” she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender’s lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
“What should I tell him?” the flustered bartender managed to stammer.
“Tell him,” she whispered, “There’s no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.”
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“A little boy runs across this man who has a truckload of cow manure and the boy asks him what he is going to do with all of that cow poop. The man tells the little boy, “I’m taking it home to put on my strawberries.” The little boy looks up at the man and says, “I don’t know where you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our strawberries.”
“One day there was an Indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says
“Big Chief, no poop”.
The doctor gave him one pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow.
The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill.
The next morning the warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says
“big chief, no poop”.
The doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the chief.
The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor’s house yet again saying
“big chief, no poop”.
The doctor gets annoyed and so gives the warrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief.
The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor (AGAIN):
“Big poop!! No chief”.”
“Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.”
“What do you call a vegetarian with Diarrhea?
“What’s brown and firm?
The Brown Family Law Firm.”
“Sir, this is the police, open the door immediately”
“But I’m having a poo”
We know sir, the phone box has glass sides”
“Life starts with everyone cheering when you poop and goes drastically downhill from there.”
“I’m in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don’t poop.”
Types of Poop:
- “Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet.
- Clean Poop: You poop, it’s in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper.
- Second Wave Poop: You’re done Pooping and you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you-you’re not done.
- Brain Haemorrhage Poop: (Also known as “Pop a vein in your forehead” poop) The kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.
- Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling.
- Log Poop: The kind of shit that is so huge that you’re afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush.
- Sweetcorn Poop: Self-explanatory.
- Wet Cheeks Poop: (The power dump) Comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water.
- “Gee I wish I could poop” Poop: The kind of poop where you want to poop, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.
- Spinal Tap Poop: That’s the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.
- Upper-Class Poop: This poop doesn’t smell.
- The Dangling Poop: This poop refuses to drop, and you just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.”
So, these are the best poop jokes for you. For more jokes, all you need is to visit the other pages of Jokes Company.