Vegetarian Jokes

Funny Vegan Jokes, Quotes, Memes & Pick Up Lines 🥕

Vegetarian Jokes
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Vegans know the art of taking jokes and that’s why we have compiled the funny vegan jokes for every one of you.  Without a doubt, we have researched vegan jokes from all around and compiled a great package for you.

Apart from vegan jokes, you will also get vegan puns, pickup lines, and memes as well.

Here we go…

Vegan Jokes

Funny Vegan Jokes

Here are some of the best vegan jokes and puns for you.

“Q. What are yellow, wise and hang out in bunches?
A. Ba-nanas!”
“My wife served root vegetables on a square plate. I just ended up eating vegetables.”
“What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.”
“Q. What vegetable can you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside?
A. Corn”
“Q. What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin?
A. I yam what I yam”

Vegan Memes

“Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce Who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!”
“Q. What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A. Quit stalking me.”
“Q. Who is the father of all bad jokes?
A. Pop Corn!”
“Q. How did the farmer fix his jeans?
A. With a cabbage patch!”
“Q. How do you fix a broken tomato?
A. With tomato paste”
“Q. Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
A. There are too many ears!”
“Q. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
A. Because he ran out of juice.”
“Q. Why did the potatoes argue?
A. Because they couldn’t see eye to eye.”

Best Vegan Jokes

“Q. Did you hear the joke about the watermelon?
A. It’s pit-iful!”
“Q. What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?
A. Ketchup!”

More Vegan Jokes & Puns

Get some of the more vegan jokes and puns. Also check Ginger Jokes, Funny Deez Nuts Jokes and Really Bad Jokes.

“Why are you looking so glum?
I’ve lost my root vegetable.
Don’t worry, it will turnip.”
“Q. What is the strongest vegetable?
A. A muscle sprout!”
“Q. Why did the tomato get embarrassed?
A. Because it saw the chick pea”
“Q. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the vegetable parties?
A. Because they are such fungis”
“Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He couldn’t concentrate!”
“Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He couldn’t concentrate!” 
“Q. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A. With a pumpkin patch!”

Vegetarian Jokes

“Q. Why aren’t bananas ever lonely?
A. Because they come in bunches!”
“Q. How do you make a strawberry shake?
A. Put it in the freezer.”
“Why does cheese look sane?
Because everything else on the plate is crackers!”
“Q. What school subject is the fruitiest?
A. History – because it is full of dates!”
“Q. What did one snowman say to the other?
A. It all smells like carrots to me.”
“Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.”
“Q: What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian?
A: We have to stop meating like this.”
“Q: Why do people kill animals?
A: Fur convenience steak.”
“Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A: A meathead!”
“Q: What do yo call a vegan post-punk band?
A: Soy Division.”
“Q: What do you call a fascist vegan?
A: Lactose intolerant.”
“Q: What is the Native American word for vegetarian?
A: Poor hunter!” 
“If two vegans are arguing, is it still called Beef?”
“Q: Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper?
A: He sold his soul to seitan!”
“Q: How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don’t know, but where do you get your protein!?”
“Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because Colonel Sanders was chasing him.” 
“Q: Why did the vegetarian cross the road?
A: Because she was protesting for the chicken, MAN!”
“Q: What do you call a vegan guy who likes to pleasure himself?
A: A non-dairy creamer”
“A man had a parrot that could talk. Unfortunately, it swore a lot. In an effort to get the parrot to be quiet, he put him in a cupboard. The parrot continued swearing and after a while, the man decided to put the bird in the freezer. After that, the parrot started swearing even more. After a few minutes, he suddenly became quiet. The man opened up the freezer and the parrot said, “I’m sorry, sir, it will never happen again.” As the man took the bird out of the freezer he wondered what the difference was between the cupboard and the freezer. Just then, the parrot said, “So, uh, what’d the chicken do?” “
“Isn’t it wierd that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did that happen? Did some cattleman once say, “Oh, man, I can’t wait till them calves are done so I can get me a hit of that stuff.” “
“A vivisector is having a nightmare: lying on a cold steel table, he’s going numb as a giant rat approaches with a large knife.
The rat says, “We are going to need those kidneys, my friend.”
“Wait!” shouts the vivisector. “I understand that I’m going to die, but just tell me, is it for the good of humanity?”
“Something like that,” the rat tells him with a smirk. “It’s for the good of two manatees.” “
“Why does the vegan never get any play?
Because she/he has really bad gas.”
“Why do vegans wear snow camo?
So they don’t get busted hijacking the Soy Delicious ice cream delivery truck.”
“How was the vegan busted hijacking the Soy Delicious delivery truck?
The FBI traced noxious fumes from the scene of the crime.”
“Why are vegans detrimental to the earth?
Because they produce immense amounts of methane.”

So, we hope you have liked this compilation of vegan jokes. For more hilarious jokes, visit the other pages of JokesCompany website.

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